Monday, June 1, 2026
Happy 65th birthday, Muff
Sunday, June 1, 2025
Happy 64th Birthday Muff
Hello my friend! It's your 64th birthday in heaven, and I got a DM from your brother BJ begging for money to help your brother Michael, which is ironic, considering that Michael has many more brothers and sister than I have, and, I gather his children are grown up, too.
Meanwhile, my husband is dying of kidney disease and liver disease due to alcoholism, and he's been in the hospital 17 times in the past 18 months, and he's had physical therapy, and doctors appointments and he goes to dialysis 3 times a week, so what Medicare doesn't pay for we're supposed to find the money for on ONE income, Jim's social security, half of which he spends on take out and booze for himself. If it weren't for our son Nick helping with the bills and groceries, we'd be out on the streets and starving, as well as going without the medications that keep us alive.
So we have no money to spare, and I had to explain this to BJ, who said he'd fill me in later on all that is going on. While I appreciate that, I've only met Michael once, at your funeral, and the only other people in your family that I know were your mom, who has passed on, and BJ, who rarely contacts me. But I do wish the rest of your siblings well, and I hope that you and your wonderful mom are looking down at all of them and hopefully helping them in this time of crisis.
Also, I still live in Washington state, which is a long way from Iowa, where my mother is going to turn 88 in October and my brother turns 62 next month. Kevin still hates me, but he does help mom with things like groceries and doctors appointments, (mom is expected to live on a thousand dollars a month from social security, most of which goes to her rent) and mom is still going strong, though her arthritis puts her in pain most of the time. My dad passed in 2019, and, as you know, my older brother passed in the 90s from the complications of Type 1 diabetes. My dads side of the family are not good people, (with the exception of my cousins Julie and Joe) and my uncle on my moms side is dying of dementia, and he never had children. Both sets of grandparents are dead and gone...so I don't really have family support of any kind.
My friend Roger whom I've known since I was 14, is still in contact with me via emails from Iowa, but once you were gone, much of my support went with you, unfortunately. I still miss you all the time, though you've been gone for 18 years now.
Here's a link to that song that you loved by Mr Mister. Kyrie Eleison:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DESeq1QY4Vg
Sunday, June 2, 2024
HAPPY 63rd BIRTHDAY MUFF
Wednesday, June 1, 2022
Happy 61st Birthday, Dear Muff
Happy 61st Birthday, my dear amiga! I wish you and I could chat today about getting old, about memories of our adventures at Clarke and in Ireland, and I wish we could plan another adventure in Scotland, or even just meeting up back in Iowa, where we could talk about our various family foibles.
You wouldn't believe how big and smart and handsome your godson Nick is! He's amazing, and I know you'd love talking to him and telling him tales out of school about his old mom, me. I'm sure he'd love meeting your grown nieces and nephews, too. They're all college age by now, too.
I wish I'd have been able to keep some of the photos of you that I brought to your funeral, but your family wanted to keep them in rememberance, and I suppose that is more important than me having them to look at...but I've only got one photo left of you, and as I age, my memories get fuzzy, so I'm afraid I will lose memories of what you looked like at the Ren Fest in Wisconsin, or of you in Mary Fran at Clarke, holding court with great elan.
I wish I'd gotten more time to see you at work in the Marshalltown Library, or having fun with your brothers or chatting with your wonderful Mum. She's still alive and kicking, and I find her strength astounding...but then, I'm amazed at the health and vitality of my own mom, who is nearing 85 and can still get around with just a cane for stability once in awhile.
I often wonder what you'd look like now, with gray hair, or if you'd do what I do and color it every two to three weeks with a cheap box of burgundy hair color? Or would you have grown it back out, like you had it the first year of Clarke, when it was in two long braids down your back. Then you had it all cut off so your hair was in a pixie cut, and you looked great! But I remember that you kept your cut off braids and cried a bit over that first week when you looked at them.
I'm in touch with some of our classmates from Clarke, and you'd be amazed at how much, and how little they've changed in the past 39 years. Mary Rose is still hilarious, with her dry and deadpan humor, and Alice N is still a delightful person who has been a teacher now for years. Tracy B married a wealthy guy and had four sons, who are graduating from college now. Laura lives in California, I think, and is still lovely. I wish you could come to the 40th reunion at homecoming next year, but I don't even know if I can make it, since I have a compromised immune system and with my asthma acting up, I can't afford to get COVID or a variant thereof. Since the theater dept has been shut down, Ellen and and Sr Carol don't teach anymore, but we all keep in touch online, sometimes via zoom chat rooms.
I still miss you so much. You'll always be alive in my memories and in my heart.
Happy 61st.
Much love,
DeAnn
Tuesday, June 1, 2021
Happy 60th Birthday, Muff
Happy 60th Birthday, my dear friend!
I wish you were still here so that I could celebrate with you, even if it were only a phone call or Zoom or Facetime chat.
Here's a link to a Neil Diamond song that I know that you loved (you loved Neil Diamond and Gordon Lightfoot, in addition to all the Irish bands like the Dubliners and Wolftones and Irish Rovers) called Cherry Cherry.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlcuAsgc5-c
Oh how I still miss you, Muff. I miss your laughter and your sarcasm and your great wit and deep love of books and all things Irish.
I miss your wisdom and your generosity toward everyone but yourself. You were unsparing in your seeming hatred of your personality, your physicality and your talents, which were many and varied, but which you dismissed as being worthless, most of the time. I was so glad when you finally got your dream job at the Marshalltown library, where you could read to children and have a hand in dealing with your favorite section of literature, children's books.
Today I was remembering the Saudi Arabian guys who invaded Clarke College in 82, I think it was, and brought a dead goat to Larry's kitchen, because he'd had the temerity to make a huge breakfast buffet to welcome them that included ham and bacon, and they ended up screaming "FILTHY PIG MEAT" and ululating in protest until Larry came to take it away. He wasn't aware that they had dietary restrictions as Muslims that were similar to that of Jewish people who keep kosher. So these Saudi guys went out in a fancy muscle car that they'd rented and hit a neighboring farmer's goat, killed it, tied it to the hood of their car and then dragged it into Larry's kitchen, and told him to fix up the goat meat for them. Muff, you were working in the kitchen on work study at the time, and you told me how this all went down with your natural storytelling ability that had me and everyone else in earshot howling with laughter. Poor Larry had no idea how to butcher a goat, but he promised them he'd see to it. He ended up burying that critter somewhere on the Clarke grounds. Then he went and bought some lamb and goat meat and fixed a stew for them.
There were so many stories that you would tell of your time in Larry's kitchen, or your classes, or the theater. I never would have become a double major in theater and history if it weren't for you, Muff. You helped me remember my love of learning and acting and self discovery. I wish I could have persuaded you to stop smoking, but you loved your "coffin nails" as you called them, and you also loved to drink alcohol, especially the strong stuff like whiskey.
But I think back then we all thought we were immortal, that nothing could harm us out there in Dubuque. Even during our time at the St Giles Ren Fest, in Wisconsin, you were always there looking out for me as I made my goofy mistakes and you ensnared the heart of the MC of the whole faire.
Thank you for being such a genuine friend during those years at Clarke and afterward, when I sorely needed your advice and counsel.
I hope that you're enjoying some cake and Irish whiskey up there in heaven. God bless you.
BTW, I bet you'd be thrilled by our new Democratic president Joe Biden and our VP Kamala Harris. I know you'd have loved the Obamas, too. But I am glad you didn't have to live through the pandemic and quarantine...you would have hated it. But now that it's over, you would have been the first person to get back to work and get out there to start up your life again.
Saturday, June 1, 2019
Happy 58th Birthday and Blessings for my Father
While you are there, could you keep an eye out for my dad, Duane Semler? He's just passed, and I will admit that I felt that he'd be relieved to be rid of the pain that he was in and the suffering of losing his mind to dementia.
He was an optimist and a happy person, but he was also deeply proud of his mental acuity and his love of lifelong learning. He believed in education for everyone, especially to those who education could help raise from poverty or other dire circumstances. He was also very gullible and reminded a lot of people of Fred Flintstone in demeanor. I was certainly his Pebbles, his only daughter and I know he was proud of me for finishing my education with college and grad school.
I was able to tell him, via my high school friend Kim Weber's cell phone, that I loved him and that it was time to let go and begin his final journey. I sent the song "I Believe For Every Drop of Rain That Falls" sung my Elvis, to his funeral, along with the poem, below.
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Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep
by Mary Elizabeth Frye
I think he would have appreciated this, and I know that he appreciated the poems and words that I read at your funeral, amiga.
Today, I put your birthday salutations on my Facebook page, along with a link to the Dubliner's Whiskey in the Jar, a favorite song of yours, I know. So please look out after yourself and after my father today, and know that I love you both. Your loss and the loss of my dad have been devastating, but I want to believe that both of you are looking down on me and my family, and watching over us. Thank you.
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Friday, March 16, 2018
Happy St Patrick's Day, One of Your Favorite Holidays
James Joyce, Finnegan’s Wake, 1939
“They lived and laughed and loved and left.”
Moya Cannon, from “Crannog,” The Wake Forest Series of Irish Poetry, Volume Two, 2010
“We don’t know what beads or blades
are held in the bog lake’s wet amber
but much of us longs to live in water
and we recognise this surfacing
of old homes of love and hurt.
A troubled bit of us is kin
to people who drew a circle in water,
loaded boats with stone,
and raised a dry island and a fort
with a whole lake for a moat.”
Frances Browne, from “A Parting Voice,” 1847
“I go as one that comes no more, yet go without regret;
The summers other memories store ’twere summer to forget;
I go without one parting word, one grasp of parting hand,
As to the wide air goes the bird—yet fare thee well, my land!”
Lady Jane Wilde, from “Destiny,” 1864
“There was a star that lit my life
It hath set to rise no more,
For Heaven, in mercy, withdrew the light
I fain would have knelt before.”
Oscar Wilde, from “Apologia,” 1881
“Ay! though the gorgèd asp of passion feed
On my boy’s heart, yet have I burst the bars,
Stood face to face with Beauty, known indeed
The Love which moves the Sun and all the stars!”
W.B. Yeats, from “Earth, Fire and Water,” 1893
“We can make our minds so like still water that beings gather about us that they may see, it may be, their own images, and so live for a moment with a clearer, perhaps even with a fiercer life because of our quiet.”
Henrietta O’Neill, from “Ode to the Poppy,” 1792
“Hail, lovely blossom! — thou can’st ease,
The wretched victims of disease;
Can’st close those weary eyes, in a gentle sleep.
Which never open but to weep;
For, oh! thy potent charm,
Can agonizing pain disarm;
Expel imperious memory from her seat,
And bid the throbbing heart forget to beat.”
John Todhunter, from “The Banshee,” 1839
“And sometimes, when the moon
Brings tempest upon the deep,
And rous’d Atlantic thunders from his caverns in the west,
The wolfhound at her feet
Springs up with a mighty bay,
And chords of mystery sound from the wild harp at her side,
Strung from the heart of poets;
And she flies on the wings of tempest
Around her shuddering isle,
With gray hair streaming:
A meteor of evil omen,
The spectre of hope forlorn,
Keening, keening!”
Eileen Shanahan, from “The Three Children,” 1927
“The tigers of the world will spring,
The merchants of the world will buy.
And one will sell her eyes for gold,
And one will barter them for bread,
And one will watch their glory fade
Beside the looking-glass, unwed.”
John W. Sexton, Bog Asphodel, 2013
“Bog is the roof of the underworld,
where upside down the dead
walk with their feet shadowing the soles
of the living. Each step you take
you take onto the step of your dead self.”